Hello again.
Although I just started this blog, there’s no way that I can just let a welcome letter be my first real entry. Over the last few months, I have been on fire. No, not literally. But, I have had so much going through my mind that my only outlet is to release it through my writing. So, buckle your seat belts. Here we go…
Recently, I have joined an online networking site, established for the alumni and faculty of my former high school–Willowridge High School. Bearing such a striking resemblance to MySpace.com, I have unofficially deemed it as “Ridge-space”. And, to be honest, it’s just as addictive. However, one of the major noticeable differences is that its members don’t have unwelcoming pictures showing the shadows of their “under booty” while displaying screen names like “Get Sum While I’m Giving It Out.” I honestly must say that my fellow classmates have done an outstanding job in creating a great networking site, with their own splash of Class & Character. Willowridge Eagles represent! Okay, that’s all for the shout outs.
Within this site, several individuals have established internal online communities based on various commonalities. For example, there are online groups established for the entrepreneurs, former basketball players, and band members. Unlike the restrictive high school cliques that were present in yester-year, the growth of these virtual communities is heavily attributed to the nature of their inclusivity. As a matter of fact, I can’t think of one group that hasn’t been represented by their own virtual community. Many individuals, including myself, are, in fact, a part of multiple groups. Hell, even the Math nerds from Mu Alpha Theta (Math Honor Society) are representing their skills. (Please don’t kill me on the email, as I am also a part of the Math Nerd Herd). But the group that stands out the most, in my opinion, is the WHS Singles. These are all of the individuals that may either desire to be in permanent relationships and have not met that special someone or others that have recently been paroled from previous troublesome relationships and are so excited they want everyone to know that they had the courage to leave. Or perhaps it includes others, like myself, that are de facto members of the group but have chosen not to formally and officially join that community but constantly examine the discussions from afar. Whatever the reason, it is the discussions of this group that have inspired today’s blog.
When I was married, I often enjoyed watching and listening to other couples as they often reminisced about the more exciting days of being single. And now that I am single again, I have often experienced my solo comrades longing for the ability to curb their loneliness with the companionship that many married couples take for granted. For years, I didn’t understand…MARRIED PEOPLE WANNA BE SINGLE AND SINGLE PEOPLE WANNA BE MARRIED.
Throughout the years, the conversations have been quite interesting, to say the least.
Married Couple
Her: “He doesn’t want to spend time with me. He doesn’t listen to me. I don’t know; I just feel so lonely.”
Him: “She doesn’t support me. She’s draining. I feel like I don’t have anyone to understand me. If I feel like this, I may as well be by myself.”
Single Person
Her: “I don’t know. Sometimes I just feel like I need someone to hold me. I don’t want to just settle for anyone. But, right now, I’m lonely.”
Him: “Yeah. I think I’m ready for that special person. I’m just tired of just being with these people that I can’t talk to. I just want a chic that I can talk to.”
In all cases, there’s an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. And, in my late nights of perusing the discussions of the WHS Singles, I have noticed that this is a common and popular topic. How do I deal with the loneliness?
Interestingly, many people often equate the feeling of loneliness with being alone; while, in fact, the two are quite different. Therefore, in dealing with such loneliness, I think it is important to understand that the two are not synonymous, and more so, one is not dependent upon the other. And with that realization, the first question that should be asked is: Where does this loneliness generate? I honestly believe that if we can develop a keen understanding of its root, we will then be able to develop various methods of dealing with it.
Yes, I have thought about this in great length, as I, too was one that suffered from this loneliness without the burden of being alone. But, out of consideration for your time, and to not make this first blog a book, in itself, I will reserve that answer for next time. But, as a hint, it has to deal with something that I now call the ‘Unidentifiable Void’.
Hit me up. Let me know your thoughts.
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